1/11/12

I was sure, oh so sure that I posted just 3 days ago.I cannot find it in drafts and honestly cannot recall particular content either.I have been having really vivid dreams that I find out later were n ot reality. I think when I skip doses of my Lexapro this happens.
Working out has been spotty. I have been favoring time with my boyfriend over the weekend and sleep over working out. I have been doing well on the healthy diet part .My weigh in was 214.8.The downward trend continues. I have not eaten much today and actually feel rather nauseated.I smacked my head on a cupboard the other day when I stood up and it was open.I knocked myself right over and tear ssprang to my eyes out of injured pride more than anything else.
Things are difficult with the boyfriend right now.He is pulling away and does not see it.Issues that I thought were in the past keep rearing up.None of this is me.He says he is not angry with me but I am feeling punished and sad.I could have picked a less complicated relationship to begin with.I really did not choose it, it more fell into my lap.
I need to keep up my activity during these emotional times to keep me from being a nutcase by the end of it.

status report week one 2012

I did 30 minutes on the elliptical Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday. I ought to mix it up a little because I will most likely get bored and with boredom come disinterest right?On the other hand I have lost weight by rote. Eating the same exact foods and doing the same old work out day in and day out making it a routine I never varied from.It was as second nature as pouring coffee in the morning and I missed it when I skipped.
I have been making some fine vegan soups this week.It certainly is easier to eat right when I am prepared to do it. Eating on the fly is not a good thing for me. I make bad choices , like mozzeralla sticks and a whole bag of sugared almonds.This morning I am eating a parsnip-carrot puree seasoned with sun dried tomatoes and other spices.
I have noticed my posture has been poor lately. I have been bending at the waist and hunching my shoulders over. That cannot be attractive and accentuates my pooch. One more thing to be aware of right?
Weigh in this morning is 216.8 which is a decrease of 1.6 # since monday. Not bad. Once I bemoaned that i was only losing a very little each week but then a fellow nurse dtold me that at a pound a week it is stillover 50# in a year and still significant! Okay I got it.
I wish I did not have these periods of back sliding so I would have to go back over ground I had already been before. Does a body snap back quicker once it was in shape? We shall find out!. Onward .

confession

I got down to 204 late August 2011.I never did come close to the 50# loss I was seeking.Perhaps that was not realistic. I have been plagued by a left heel spur that nixed zumba and running and now a left forearm strain that makes weight lifting impossible.I have eaten with abandon this holiday season. . I am at 218.2 as of yesterday. Yes I can still wear my clothes but I am not comfortable in them. I have enjoyed fuller breasts but the wobbly fuller thighs have been a real attack on my body awareness. Another downfall as I see it is I have not been accountable to myself in this blog. I have also ignored the tools from WW namely because online computers are not available to me anymore at work and thatr is where my temptation is. I am quitting weight Watchers in favor of blance and accountability.I may have to enlist my boyfriends help here.


SOOOOoo.


1. make a real goal.My goal is to be 199# by March 11 2012. That is 10 weeks.


2. work out 5 x a week 30 minutes minimum.


3.Blog on this site 4 x a week


4. write down my meal intake every day.





I am also working on having my house always "company ready" I am not expecting perfection but I know having a tidier house will help my mental status and overall health.