April showers

Tracking and exercising do the trick.I cannot guesstimate period.I will always forget to count something and I will always underestimate the points.I will count it all,even when I know I am over. Happily more zumba classes are being offered at the local commuity center making the 12 hour shifts not such a factor in my work out schedule.I will have the option of attending a class after the end of my shift on Wednesdays at work.I wonder if I will have the oomph to do it. All I know is that I want to lose 6# in 4 weeks.Why does the number on the scale affect my self esteem so much?I do have to own up to my mistakes.I should feel like shit when I cheat .I know I can stick to the plan! 177 days until I am 40.Takes a deep breath.Not even 6 months to drop 25 or so pounds.That is less than 5 pounds a month.I want to lose in my butt and hips.I wish there were such a thing as spot reducing.I am vain.I like my breasts .I want them to stay just as they are!.Tomorrow is the official weigh in day.My thoughts are scattered.I have a " complicated" relationship and it takes alot out of me.Maybe my weight is one thing I can actually control in my life.Love,the economy,the kids,all are things I cannot control. 205.6

Backsliding

yes,I have been allowing myself to backslide.I was sooooo close to the major goal of being under 200# then poof! I lost my way! That is the simple explanation but let's look at really happened: 1.I stopped making execise an almost daily priority 2.I stopped tracking what I was eating. 3.I felt entitled to have what I wanted because of my progress. oh DEAR. Stop! You are overweight beause of those exact same behaviors and those same thoughts! This week I have begun to turn it around.I have worked out on the elliptical twice burning 460 and 450 Kcal each time.I have walked 2.5 miles.I have done a yoga video.Tonight I am going to zumba.I have not been tracking yet but will. I am so enjoying the TWO pair of size 12 pants I bought on clearane no less for $3.99. I have not missed the time elsewhere in life that I have invested in exercise.Yes exercise IS an investment.I will have many returns on ut! Cookies are not an investment they are an expense.YAY me!.I hope to have good things to report!

Soooo close!

203.6# Amazing! I am getting closer to a huge goal which is to be 0ne hundred anything! 185 would be sweet.169# is my goal weight for weight watchers.I do not see me getting there but hey! I have made it this far! I am over halfway to my 50# loss before my 40th birthday and i still have nearly 7 months to do it in.That means I have to loose about 3.5 # a month! SOOOOO doable.The ex BF has noticed my weight loss from a profile picture I have.A co- worker noticed how svelte I looked.I am excited to have bought a pair of size 12 dress pants because the 14 were too big.A little over a year ago I jumped up and down to get some 14 over my thighs,now they are saggy in the seat and crotch! I still do not have my goal prize.I am thinking of a cool corset but I will never wear it as it is neither period or fetish.Shoes? Maybe.I will let you know when I get there.I wonder if I can do it this week? Improbable ,yet still a chance! I need to step up the physical activity.I have allowed myself to be in a rut.Not good.The North eastern winter has gone on forever and taken its' toll on the psyche of many around here including me.Updates to follow.

Slow progress is good progress?

I am right around 207#.Twice this week I have been 206.2# but I bounce back up so I do not know if I should count it.I sabotage myself I discovered. If I have a great number I allow myself treats and then the next one is back up again. I need to figure out how to be motivated by the dip and keep going instead of using it as a reason to slack.
I am working a ton and my exercise routine has suffered.I am not able to get to zumba and have not had the energy for the elliptical.I have done yoga but it is not enough!. In two weeks the workload should lighten and I can resume my level of activity.I do also have to admit I could push myself to work out but I have been reluctant to put in the effort.Is it the winter blahs?
Here is to a better post next time!

keeping track

I have lost control of my little widgets that show my progress.Somehow the little turtle is not moving to show progess! I like it when the turtle moves, even a little bit.I read on facebook one of my former co-workers has lost 6 pounds this week on WW.I want a huge drop! Admittedly I went away over the weekend and had a long drive and no computer access to keep track but I am sure I went over my daily allowance.I know I did not go over my weekly points though.I have not touched my activity points. I do not menstruate and lose track of my hormonal fluctuations and get snarky when I had a slight gain.I had an aha moment when I felt low abd cramps and was a bit tired.Unofficial weigh in today is 208.4.that means only 9 pounds until I am under 2 freaking hundered.
What will I do as a reward?? not food.I am going to lag on clothes because I am planning/hoping on doing some waredrobe makeover this summer.I want to wear the bikini I bought but have never worn due to embarrassment over my body.
Yesterday I had a sweat drenching workout on the elliptical.I kicked it!It is the first time I have reached over 500 Kcal in 30 minutes.Today was zumba.Dang I am sore.I think it is this not so wonderful cold.Thankfully it was sunny today making it somewhat tolerable.Winter can be beaten back to its cave anytime now.
i am pondering doing the couch to 5 k program.Running and I aren't exactly on speaking terms but the people who run seem to love it and I have read it is a kick ass love vibe for your body.Hm.i like kick ass body idea.
I will have to get used to the idea that I will never be able to eat without thinking about everything that goes in my mouth.My body loves to hold onto all those extra calories.All that garbage that My body DOES NOT need. I would not pour koolaid in a performance auto.i will not pollute my personal vehicle!

Be still your hearts

I know....two posts in a row...how could I? Welllllll...this morning I am down again 209.2.I hate to say it but this WW thing is working. I have fought against the idea of WW for a while now thinking I knew what healthy eating looked like.how can inbe eating wrong? I am a vegan (okay MOSTLY vegan) I did try on occasion to journal what I ate but it got away from me.This way I see exactly what I have eaten,how it impacts what I have left for the day and week.I no longer worry when I splurge on a couple cookies because I PLAN for them.I sound like a spokesperson already don't I? I am going away to see my boyfriend this weekend so am saving up most of my points to use while I am out of town.I am sure there will be some excess (hopefully in many areas!)
I like seeing my activity points add up! I have not dipped into them yet.I will be getting up early to use the elliptical for 30 minutes in the morning.I need to deflab.Tone.Condition and stretch.I wonder how long before I am under 200? i am so excited I am all squirmy inside!
Does anyone have any reward ideas for when i reach under 200#...for goal weight??I want to do something wonderful but not to spendy....

New Territory

I am in new weight loss territory.I weighed in this morning at the lowest i have been in almost 10 years.Then it was because I was going through a divorce.Now.....Now my friends it is because I am eating well and sweating loads. drum roooooooooolllllllllllll 209.6.
I know it is still over 200 and it looks alot to most people...well it IS alot.I love saying two-oh-something.It makes One-ninety-something seem so much more attainable.I am on my way to actually reaching my goal! I would adjust the ticker but I have forgotton the password at the moment.I am too giddy to fiddle right now!
In other news, I joined WW online.I am certainly getting an education.I figured banana chips were good because they were dried fruit.WRONG.I ate a half a days points just snacking.I will see how it goes for the next 3 months and by then i will either have the system down pat or will love it so much bcause of my success that I will want to keep it up!
on the agenda today is an elliptical work out,painting the kitchen and then maybe a pilates workout.The more I sweat the less I am needing the Lexapro.yay endorphins.
I am wondering what my goal prize shall be/ maybe I'll ask Sir.

Enough is enough

As you can see...anyone that has stuck around through my absence,that blog is, I have neglected this poor blog.It has been over two months and I have gained and lost the same 6 pounds. Admittedly it has been quite rough.I had been taking care of my terminally ill Grandma,then she had a stroke.It was already difficult because she had a poor appetite.The Stroke caused swallowing difficulty as well as aphasia.She was placed in hospice one week after the stroke and died two days later.During all of this I was trying to go to school,working on a new relationship, as well as jugglin work, kids and home remodelling!
I forgot! I went back to the ED so my schedule changed, I overhauled my bathroom, along with other house updates.I had a man fall through the kitchen ceiling during one of these updates.
I am working out 1 -2 hours a day this week.Partly I think to keep my mind off mourning.I don't know how much weight loss is ideal.I am putting one foot in front of another and going til my body rocks! I will write more this week.I will have a weight loss breakthrough! I will see my collar bones!I will love my arms!I will love my thighs!