I spent 4 hours ( a relatively short time, considering) in the emergency dept last night with my Dad.He has a considerable heart history.I am on the phone with him now in fact.Now I recall why I hated my childhood.He fixates and blusters with no solutions in all he says.Alot of vicious words,threats,sputtering, and wind .He has big words and no actions.I did find out my gramma has Stomach cancer.I grew up next to her.She looks so frail now.She does not want me to know,so I have to tread lightly in my dealings.
I feel slimmer.The scale finally moved today.226.4.I am not sure what caused the move but I like it.My clothes are a bit looser.I need to keep up the high level of activity and keep an eye on my food intake.Curiously, I have not had as much of an appetite as of late.
My son and I are going to the state fair today, so temptations abound!I love love love the food court but will be sure to have healthy snacks on the way there.It is hot and sticky so I will be sure to wear sun protection and wear a big hat .

it is Friday and I am off!

Last night I indulged and the scale reflected it this morning.I am hoping it is a case of too much sodium.I went out for Indian food and had a wonderful paneer dish with a sauce I could not get enough of.I also enjoyed garlic naan and some masala tea.I know I had too much because I was stuffed.I should have listened to my body and its cues.I walked Brom about a mile yesterday.I did little exercise other than that.
I have a goal today of doing 30 minutes on the elliptical; and taking Brom for a long walk later. I am blanching tomatoes at the moment for freezing.The dogs have been eating produce from the garden whenever possible.I thinks its kinda funny but also a bit annoying to find bite marks in a nice cucumber !.I might make a curry tonight or some tobouli with my garden rewards.I measures my hips, arms ,thighs and waist today.I have gotten several comments on my "weight loss" But the scale has not budged.I figure I may have to keep track else how lest I get discouraged with the scale.(I am wondering if I ought to purchase a different scale.)

hump day

I did not do the elliptical last night as planned.i walked brom all over town and up hills.That was enough for me.I did use the elliptical this morning and go to Zumba tonight. I made a tofu/berry/banana smoothie for breakfast and had to scrounge for lunch because I forgot my meal I packed.I had a fuit salad,a yogurt with fruit and two individual packages of fig newtons.Dinner was caribbean tofu/snow pea/mushroom stirfry with sesame seeds.YUMMY.I am so tired I know I will sleep like the dead.getting up at 430 can do that to you.I plan on riding along the Erie canal tomorrow after work,so i will not get up early for the elliptical.
When i was walking Brom I saw a man getting ready to put a kayack in the creek ( pronounced CRICK around here)I am intrigued,having done some kayacking and white water rafting I have a little experience with it.I may have to take the plunge and buy some equipment so I can explore that further ! i love the freedom of the water and the different view of nature.The more choices i have for excercise the better.I will not get bored and i will stick to an active life style.

can i do this?

I know my goal is totally doable.It is ME holding me back one way or another.i need o prevent any self sabotage.I am reading this book Sugar Blues ,written in the 1970's about the history of refined sugar,how it has shaped politics and changed our health landscape.I am reading a bit slow but it is definitely a book I need to take to heart.I have 4 Dunkin Donuts munchkins today and five bite sized pieces of chocolate.it all does add up to one big blob of sugar.
On a better note,i went to zumba last night and sweat myself silly.I am always super red in the face and look like I am on the verge of a stroke...but hey that is how I roll!I made a deep dish polenta pizza with sauteed zucchini,mushrooms and red bell pepper with yummy spices,fresh tomato slices...Mmmmmmm I had some for lunch today.My goal for the rest of the day is to eat mindfully,walk Brom a few miles and to do 30 minutes on the treadmill.i may freeze a few batches of tomatoes ,and zucchini too.
I am having some wicked stomach cramps today>I wonder if from the candy I ate.

I am going to nap for a few and thenget to my list.(hoping I can stay on track here.)More to post soon..
Ohthe good news is several people at work say they have noticed I look thinner.The scale does not concur,but maybe i am mixing things up enough that my body is changing.

Monday

So far it looks like the typical monday if I were to stereotype one.Yesterday was a day of very good,good and some not so good choices.Very Good:I did 30 minutes on the elliptical AND walked/jogged the dog 3 miles I also took my vitamins.Good:I got a pedicure instead of buying stuff i did not need,in addition I introduced Jean to the pleasures of self pampering.We both got french tip pedis!.It was funney as the male technition kept digging dirt from my toe nails from all the bare foot gardening!Also good:No sugar in my coffee , I made an awesome eggplant curry in coconut milk for the first time,and I finished 3 lanyards for sale .It was a hit.Not so good:I had a slice of lemon pound cake with my coffee.I spent more money than I should have.Off to work .

summary

Today...or yesterday by now was NOT a healthful day for eating. I went to zumba on an empty stomach because all that moving makes me ill.My stomach has been iffy all day with sporadic diarrhea. I did not help matters by having half a bag of animal crackers. I had a few slivers of cantalope I was cutting up to freeze. i made a little sweet red pepper and tofu stir fry. I was then on the HUNT. SWEEETS, give me sweets! I ended up with a handful of goddamned chocolate sprinkles.I rounded out the day with about a third of a cup of corn nuts, some dark chcolate covered ginger and a coconut milk ice cream bar (100 calories!)
I am a mess!.Sunday will be better.Of this I am sure.I will drink more water, take my vitamin and focus on the health of it.
In other news I looked at my belly when I was sitting down and it looks too much like a blob of dough for my liking.I have always been blessed with a relatively flat tummy but this weight is now stretching my body past its norm.I wished I coiuld have pulled that belly blob right off and left it there.I want to unzip this flab suit and step out a svelt me . Action time it is !!

OOPS-415!

I am so Sorry folks!I forgot next month was NOT my birthday until I put up the countdown clock.I am not going to change the title or address of the blog.I have a little longer to reach my goal is all.OH! My book on sugar addiction arrived! I am spending the day either between freezing my garden produce and getting my college plan finalized.I have tomato skins every where and am trotting freezer bags of tomatoes and melons to my new chest freezer in the basement.I sure hope this means much happy and healthy eating this winter!

385 days

Somehow in my sleep I had productive dreams.I realizes that in 385 days from this date I will turn forty!I am not scared of forty.I am not looking forward to it either as some people pronounce to prove getting older does't scare the shit out of them.It is coming whatever my attitude is.It is a fact.True as the stubble on my unshaven legs.
It is also a fact that I am over weight.I am 230.8# this morning, stark naked on the scale first thing.I always weight naked at home.The doctor's office knows now just to ask what I weight because I will be honest and I WON'T get on the scale clothed at the office ( come to think of it unclothed either !)
I am over 5'9" and the weight is evenly distributed so people have a hard time believing the actual number.I feel it though.I hate this extra layer I am wearing.I have been skinny once and it was in a fit of extreme depression and anorexia,ergo unhealthy.
I am active.I am still wallowing in the sweat of an hours long zumba class ,in fact.I walk my samoyed,Brom daily about 2 to 4 miles.
I am working on being completely vegan. I have my lapses with dairy...and sweets.I know the sugar demon is my down fall.I ordered a book from Amazon on how to break the addiction to sugar.I am looking forward to cracking it open and seeing if the advice rings true and helps me.(Besides that I LOVE! packages.I swear sometimes I order things just so I can open a package)
The purpose of this blog is to get me to the fabulous fit me before I turn forty on October 10,2011.COme join me on this journey.
I am not sure what my final goal is but 50# is sticking in my head.To be 180# at forty.
I will post now pics,goal pics,thoughts and all kinds of nifty details along the way.
Today is off to a a good start with execise already.My goal today is to keep a food journal and keep myself accountable.Please join me,comment,complain..get inspiration,give inspiration.